Can I Come In?

Little five year old boys don’t usually want to play with girls putting on makeup – unless it is boring because there are no other boys around. That changes everything. At least it did for Jude, my grandson. My four granddaughters had locked themselves in the... read more

My Mother’s Christmas Wish

Devotion: When I was a little girl, the number one question I asked all my family before December 25th was “What do you want for Christmas?” I asked my sisters and my brother, my mother and my father. It was a huge question for me because my funds were limited to a small... read more

The Starter Marriage

“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Matthew 19:6 (NIV)

The article titled “The Starter Marriage” caught my attention. I’ve heard about starter homes – a smaller version of the bigger home that you want some day but all that you can afford or need right now. But a starter marriage?
The article said that 20% of divorces of first marriages are within the first five years of being married. To be labeled a starter marriage, certain parameters must be met.
First, the marriage must have lasted 5 years or less. Secondly there must be no children. Then the article explains why that is so important: “No children, five years or less equals no ties.” Say what? What about an emotional tie? And what about the heart?
Please hear me on this: I understand that there are marriages that end in divorce for many reasons. Maybe it’s abuse or infidelity or addictions. I have friends who either are in those marriages now or have been and I am heartbroken for them. We have spent long hours crying and praying together over lost dreams and hopes that each one had on her wedding day.
But never have I heard someone get married with the idea of “trying marriage” for a few years and then ending it in order to try a different marriage later on. One woman in the article even called her first marriage a “rehearsal” for the “real” one. Another woman who had been married one year went to a writer’s conference and discovered that she was having more fun alone than when she was with her husband. So she divorced him. Far fetched? Sadly, no.
Today’s Key Scripture in Matthew 19:6 contains an important truth that many have forgotten: God is the creator of marriage. Not the government. Not society. Not Hollywood. Not whatever is deemed the latest trend from those with earthly wisdom who think they have all the answers. The Creator of the Universe and the very air that we breathe created marriage as a lifelong relationship. He did not create a one or two year “trial” marriage as an automatic stepping stone to the next one.
Entering into marriage with the idea that it is only a “rehearsal” for another one is certainly bringing low expectations into a relationship that can almost be guaranteed to end with a less than satisfactory outcome.
If you know a couple struggling to make their marriage work, I encourage you to surround them with love and Godly wisdom from the Word. If you are one of those couples, please consider Christian counseling to help you refocus on your marriage vows and God’s plan for you as a couple.
Let’s pray to end the trend of the “starter marriage.”

Father, please protect those marriages that are being attacked by the world’s wisdom. Help each husband and wife to focus on you and your will for their lives. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Did you ever have a time when you were first married that you felt like giving up and getting out of your relationship with your spouse? Why or why not?

If you feel you and your spouse are having issues with your marriage, contact a Christian marriage counselor or strong Christian couple to pray with you and guide you.

Journal Scripture about marriage and pray each one over your marriage together every day.

Matthew 19:6 (NIV) “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Proverbs 18:22 (NIV) “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

Song of Songs 8:6 (NIV) “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”

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Copyright 2013  Nancy E. Hughes